Stephen Colbert has outdone himself over the last few days.

First, there’s his interview with Bill Kristol from Thursday’s show. Kristol is editor of the conservative Weekly Standard and a member of the Project for a New American Century, an organization that was pushing for the invasion of Iraq as far back as the mid-1990s. It was part of the brilliant plan to remake the Middle East in our image by bombing Arabs until they like us. Other signatories to the plan: Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, Paul Wolfowitz, Doug Feith… you know, the people in power who lied their way into the Iraq War and then lost it.

Apparently, nobody in DC likes to bring up PNAC, because the average American has never heard of it and Kristol himself seems stunned that Colbert leads with it. In fact, Colbert basically dances and jabs at him throughout the interview, with his now-honed, only slightly exaggerated satirical style, while Kristol puts on a happy face but can’t keep up.

Then, earlier today, Colbert was the keynote speaker at the White House Correspondent Dinner. I DVRed it off of C-SPAN (which, combined with the episode of Doctor Who I downloaded at the same time, establishes me as the nerdiest nerd to ever nerd a nerd). Then I fast-forwarded through Bush’s comedy routine — for all I know, he may have killed (metaphorically, for once), but I just can’t stand the bastard. Finally, Colbert came onstage, where he proceeded to absolutely eviscerate Bush AND the Washington press corps, right to their faces, all while staying in character.

On Bush: “I stand by this man because he stands for things. Not only for things, he stands ON things. Things like aircraft carriers and rubble and recently flooded city squares. And that sends a strong message, that no matter what happens to America, she will always rebound with the most powerfully staged photo ops in the world.”

On the press: “Over the last five years you people were so good over tax cuts, W.M.D. intelligence, the effect of global warming. We Americans didn’t want to know, and you had the courtesy not to try to find out. Those were good times, as far as we knew.”

The initial reaction?

Colbert Lampoons Bush at White House Correspondents Dinner– President Does Not Seem Amused

A blistering comedy “tribute” to President Bush by Comedy Central’s faux talk show host Stephen Colbert at the White House Correspondent Dinner Saturday night left George and Laura Bush unsmiling at its close.

The above article has a pretty good summary of Colbert’s material. For a full transcript, go here, and video of the second half of the routine (including a pre-recorded bit with Helen Thomas) can be found here.

Talk about Muchos Huevos Grande…

(Crossposted from the A-Button)

I’m feeling under the weather today — a combination of near-asthmatic spring allergies and a bad reaction to some food — so I’ve been taking it easy. I just spent the last four or five hours with Dreamfall: The Longest Journey for the XBox.

Dreamfall is apparently on the Psychonauts plan for sales success: after striking out at EB Games, Best Buy, and Software Etc, I finally purchased the ONE copy they had at Gamestop. There must be better marketing plans than “Let’s not actually make our game available for purchase.”

Anyway, since the first TLJ is the Last Great Adventure Game as far as I’m concerned, Dreamfall has some big shoes to fill. And so far… I’m enjoying it quite a bit.

Dreamfall features characters from the first game, but ten years have passed and the story unfolds from the POV of a new character, so knowledge of the first game isn’t necessary. Which is good, because it’s been six years since I played it, and I only remember bits and pieces.

What’s killed modern adventure games for me lately is the hybridization of the game play — adding combat, stealth, and the like to give the game a “broad appeal.” And guess what: Dreamfall adds combat, stealth, and the like.

Combat is pretty basic: A to attack, B to block, X for an unblockable attack. Much like Jade Empire, any fighting game fans crossing over into this hybrid game will be bored stiff. As for gamers with Old Man Dad reflexes like mine, it took me four tries to beat the tutorial trainer in Chapter One, but otherwise I haven’t been stuck on a fight I can’t win. Yet.

Part of the reason for that is there is usually an alternative stealth and/or puzzle-based way to avoid a difficult combat. Stealth sequences annoy me even more than combat in adventure games, but there is sometimes a way to make the stealth parts easier. For example:

In Chapter 3, you have to sneak past a sleeping guard dog. Every so often, a loud, rumbling train barrels past, and the dog sleeps through the noise. If you only move while a train goes by, and the sequence is simple.

On top of combat and stealth, Dreamfall includes Codebreaking and Lockpicking minigames. Codebreaking involves matching a pattern from a constantly-shifting grid of symbols, which is timed and somewhat tedious. Lockpicking involves a more appealing logic-based minigame.

As far as the traditional Adventure game elements, the puzzles so far have been basic and logical — easy in the early parts of the game, rising in difficulty as I progress. The story and characters are as well-written and appealing as I remember. And true to its PC roots, it’s save-anywhere, with a helpful autosave that activates before and after any sequence where you may die.

Even with all the additions, the game Dreamfall most resembles is, thankfully, The Longest Journey. That’s a good thing.

Found via BoingBoing (which means 23 billion people have seen it before you):

Jim “AdvisorJim” Derych’s book Confessions of a Former Dittohead is out — very quietly, since it looks like his publisher is about as large and powerful as Blueshift Studios.

However, he’s supporting it with a surprisingly far-reaching book tour. I might make the trek up to Tempe on July 13 to see Derych. I feel a certain kinship with a regular-joe-with-a-dKos-page turned regular-joe-with-a-small-press-book.

Amusingly, his final scheduled stop is at Elliott Bay Bookstore in Seattle, across the street from where I used to work.

Today’s big (non-E3) nerd news:

‘Galactica’ Prequel on Tap at Sci Fi

The Sci Fi Channel will delve into the backstory of “Battlestar Galactica” with a new series that looks at the years leading up to humanity’s devastation by the Cylons.

The prequel, called “Caprica,” heads a list of development projects the cable network unveiled Wednesday.

[...]

“Caprica” will be set more than 50 years prior to the events of “Battlestar Galactica” and focus on the lives of two families — the Adamas (ancestors of future Galactica commander William) and the Graystones. Humankind’s Twelve Colonies are at peace and on the verge of a technological breakthrough: the first Cylon.

I made a huuuuuuge mistake in my choice of apartments. (For those of you finding this blog via Google, that’s CIMARRON PLACE APARTMENTS in TUCSON, AZ.)

The creaking from the ceiling is still a problem. Apparently, my upstairs neighbors weigh 400 pounds and like to bounce on pogo sticks at all hours.

My dishwasher is broken. I’m presently eating with plastic plates, cups, and forks, because I’m far too lazy to wash dishes by hand — not to mention really bad at it, as I discovered on Saturday. The apartment complex isn’t exactly in a rush to replace it, either. “In a week,” they say.

Also, I’m apparently surrounded by laundry thieves. I ran two bath towels through a dryer in the laundry room on Thursday night, and when I returned, the dryer was open and one of the towels was missing. If they’d stolen both towels, I’d be pissed off. Since they only stole one, I’m pissed off AND confused.

Meanwhile, on an apartment-unrelated note, Leah went out of town for over a week to visit her family, and I haven’t been able to talk to her since she returned.

Meanwhile meanwhile, my allergies are killing me. I wake up in the morning wheezing like a cat sat on my face.

Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh…

*sniffle*

This will either be the most awesomely weird or the most disappointing film of all time.

A few years ago, a little indie flick called Donnie Darko became a cult hit. I don’t consider myself part of that cult, but I enjoyed it quite a bit — it’s strange and challenging, yet comprehensible. With its combination of time travel, death, and teenage angst, it’s a consummate Goth movie without the standard Tim Burton pretense. Plus it stars a pre-Brokeback Jake Gyllenhal. If you haven’t seen it, put it on your Netflix queue. It’s worthwhile.

Now, Donnie Darko writer/director Richard Kelly has a new movie coming out this year called Southland Tales. I heard the title at last year’s Comic-Con and thought nothing much of it. But after seeing the announcement this week that it will compete at the Cannes Film Festival — and the accompanying cast list — well, let’s just say I’m intrigued to the point of fascinated befuddlement.

The official web site doesn’t actually contain anything useful at the moment. The movie’s Wikipedia entry at least contains a plot summary:

The story is a Philip K. Dick-inspired mindtwist set in Los Angeles on July 4, 2008. Upon the discovery of a new power source which is derived from the Earth’s oceans, the world is thrown from its orbit and the mental stability of the planet’s masses begin to break down. Facing their imminent doom, the planet erupts into chaos and anarchy.

Is your brow furrowing in tantalized confusion yet? No? Well, it will be when you see the cast list:

The Rock, as the lead character Boxer Santaros
Seann William Scott, in a long-awaited(?) reunion with his The Rundown co-star
Sarah Michelle Gellar, as… a porn star
Kevin Smith… yes, THAT Kevin “Silent Bob” Smith

Those are apparently the four lead actors in an ensemble cast, which would be enough to blow my fucking mind. But that’s not all. Also appearing in Southland Tales:

Christopher “Highlander” Lambert
Jon Larroquette
Miranda Richardson, aka Queenie from Blackadder II
SNLers Jon Lovitz, Janeane Garofolo, Cheri Oteri, Nora Dunn, and Amy Poehler
Mandy Moore
Justin Timberlake

I… uh…

I just…

um…

Huh?

Rolling Stone lays out the arguments. No surprises here — I’ve been aware of all of these facts for quite some time now. Needless to say, I agree with the conclusions.

My new 32″ Sceptre HDTV arrived on Wednesday, and I’ve had a few days to judge my new purchase.

Good points: Considering this was an off-brand product, I was shocked to discover that the box included every cable I could possibly desire. I even purchased a PC monitor cable from Circuit City only to return it after I found out that one was provided. Setup was a breeze, and the picture quality is fine by my untrained eyes.

Bad points: Two dead pixels. However, my Google research has revealed that having only two dead pixels on an LCD this size is actually pretty damn good. Most name-brands won’t even replace an LCD unless the dead pixels are next to each other, and these are on opposite sides of the screen. In fact, when I sit on my couch, it’s physically impossible to distinguish the dead pixels from the surrounding picture.

So if any of you are wondering whether to trust the Sceptre brand, trust away.

Naturally, after setting up my new TV, I spent the next two evenings going through my DVD collection to find out which ones are true anamorphic widesreen and which are fake-widesreen. (The fake-widescreen DVDs display a 16:9 image INSIDE of a 4:3 image, leaving the impression of a box-within-a-box.)

The results surprised me. My old $10 copy of The Road Warrior? Anamorphic widescreen. My expensive three-disc super-duper Criterion edition of Brazil? NOT WIDESCREEN. Oh man, did that piss me off. In fact, Criterion is pretty bad about providing anamorphic widescreen DVDs — its releases of Kurosawa’s Yojimbo and Sanjuro are the same way. Bastards.

Other sadly non-anamorphic DVDs: 2001, Clerks, The Edge, A Fish Called Wanda, Free Enterprise, House of Games, MST3K: The Movie, Pi, The Princess Bride, Tremors, Vertigo , and Young Frankenstein. Some of these I’ll sell to Bookman’s, some I’ll keep, and some I’ll replace with newer anamorphic versions. I don’t know which are which yet.

Mike is code monkey. “Code Monkey” is song by Jonathan Coulton. Code monkey like “Code Monkey.”

“Code Monkey” free MP3 here.